The President’s Responsibility Is To Ensure the Post Office Can Do Its Job.

The role of the President is to manage the federal government. To administer it completely and make darned sure it can do what the Constitution & subsequent laws intend it to do — that’s what we elect Presidents for.  Among other things, this means making sure our troops’ paychecks are produced & distributed, Park Rangers are hired and given the supplies to do their jobs, and making sure the Post Office is adequately staffed to meet anticipated volume.

Mr. Zip, icon for zip code usage

Failing to react to expected upticks in volume at the Post Office is Administration mismanagement.  This November tens of thousands of citizens will opt to vote-by-mail for the first time. The USPS needs requisite staff & tools to try to meet the challenge — that’s their job. The President should direct his Postmaster General to quickly identify those needs & pursue funding from Congress.

President Trump, however, refuses to take the steps necessary to ensure our Postal Service can handle the increase in mail volume due to mail-in ballots in the November election.  He refuses, once again, to take any responsibility or to do his job.  In fact, he has placed one of his lackeys (who payed dearly in campaign contributions to be considered for the privilege) in charge of the Postal Service specifically to ensure that mail delivery efficiency decreases.

Is it incompetence alone that has led President Trump to make these decisions?  No, he is guided by a diabolical political calculus.  This calculation figures that voters who do not support him will be unwilling to vote in person because of the fear of contracting COVID19 & inadequate voting capacity in their communities.    

Continue reading “The President’s Responsibility Is To Ensure the Post Office Can Do Its Job.”

With Their Hands Held Out

For nearly two generations, we have been told about the superiority of free market capitalism.  We’ve been told that markets are the fairest, most equitable way to do everything: they are self-correcting, more agile, and better-aligned to the American spirit of self-reliance, ingenuity, and ability. 

Some particularly myopic businesspeople and those who repeat their messages, have even held business as a model for government by declaring, “Government should be run more like a business!”  Given these decades of pro-business thought & policy, one would believe that no entity would be able to better weather any storm than tried-and-true American capitalism.  It is the stuff of pride and legend.

So, then came COVID-19.  What did nearly every business sector do immediately following the proliferation of stay-at-home orders aimed at slowing the spread of COVID-19?

Continue reading “With Their Hands Held Out”

God Save ‘Da Prez

Here’s a fun little ditty for a Friday morning.  Sing out loud or to yourself to the tune of “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”. Need I say more?

My Country 'Tis for Me
Land of O-li-garchy
Of Me I Sing
Land where my Father lied
Housing to blacks denied
I love the Upper East Side
Of Me I Sing

My friends, please look at me:
Monied celebrity
It's me you love
With ten thousand-dollar bills,
Hedge funds will be fulfill'd
My wallet with rapture thrills
Of Greed I love

Let healthcare go to pot
And all Obama wrought --
Costs that are bad!
Let angry tongues awake
I'll sell them oil of snake
'Til their pocketbooks shall break
Like a Trump U. grad

They'll think I'm God -- you'll see
They'll trade their liberty
for me, I Sing
Long may my Star be bright
Lit up by TV light
Rev'ling every Twitter fight
Donald Trump your King.

Trump Tops the Eclipse

Scene: The Oval Office

President Donald J. Trump, Steve Bannon, and Vice-President Mike Pence are present, sitting. Sarah Huckabee-Sanders is entering the room.

TRUMP: “Standers –“

SANDERS: “It’s Sanders, sir”

TRUMP: “Yeah — don’t worry — I know my people — believe me”

SANDERS: “Yes, sir.”

TRUMP: “What’s all this about a blackout?”

Sanders looks at the President, confused.

TRUMP:   “You know, this thing that’s going to eclipse – (aside) nice word, huh – who says I don’t know words? – (to Sanders) that’s going to eclipse my Twitter feed.”

SANDERS: “Oh, you mean the Solar eclipse that is going to occur on Monday, August 21. “

Continue reading “Trump Tops the Eclipse”

Future News: Hurricane Trump Bears Down on Washington; Forces Inauguration Indoors

Hurricane Trump Bears Down on Washington; Forces Inauguration Indoors
Jan. 19th, 2089

A rare, landfalling hurricane is expected to hit the Washington-Baltimore metropolitan area tomorrow. Heavy rains have already blanketed the area, delivering up to 1.75” in several locations. The rains have interrupted plans of many presidential well-wishers from attending the inauguration and many of the balls that traditionally accompany such events.

Earlier in the week, officials at the National Weather Service announced that the Hurricane would not be named “Abigail,” the first planned name for Atlantic hurricanes for 2089. Instead, it would be dubbed “Hurricane Trump.” Weather Service Director Zhoaria Kohme explained, “This hurricane is occurring prior to the official March 1 start of the Hurricane season, for which ‘Abigail’ has been reserved.”

Regarding the name of the Hurricane, Director Kohme noted, “Considering […] the 45th President’s denial of environmental change and the maelstrom accompanying his first year in office, ‘Hurricane Trump’ seemed like the perfect name.” Continue reading “Future News: Hurricane Trump Bears Down on Washington; Forces Inauguration Indoors”

New! Donald J hand-extending glove!

Hear the pitch, here:

Here at the SteveLacksFocus Labs, we have been working on a number of interesting products in the past few weeks. By far the most promising is the “Donald J” hand-extending glove.

This glove adds three-quarters of an inch to each finger and pads the overall width and thickness of the back of the hand to create a more robust look. Each finger is fully articulated through the innovation of our patent-pending “tip clip” finger extensions, which fit snugly over each fingertip and allow you to move the fully-extended finger as if it were truly a part of you.

Each ”Donald J” is made of hand-stitched, premium grade leather and looks especially handsome combined with a dress shirt and our extra-long ties. Whether you want to look like a sensitive and caring piano player or just want that more rugged handsome appearance that is provided to a man with man-sized hands, the Donald J. hand-extending glove is the answer.

And now, for boys, too! Is your little guy getting picked on at the soccer grounds for his immature hands? The “Donald Jr.” can replace his confidence. The “Donald Jr.” is available in a variety of sizes with fingers proportionally lengthened to fit any school-age youngster.

The “Donald J” and “Donald Jr.” will be available soon wherever Yves Encore clothing is sold.

Winning in the Time of Trump

It seems to me that we Americans deserve a lot of what we get. That includes President Donald Trump. Trump’s popularity is the beneficiary of several social movements of the last half-century: our American obsessions with winning and with wealth, as well as the distillation of all points of view into yes or no. This essay deals with one of our favorite things: winning.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Winning is important. Life is a competition for scarce resources, for the pursuit of personal fulfillment, and a struggle against harsh environments and physical and mental limitations. It is essential to find success in these challenges: to win! However, there are ways of winning that can help others to be successful or, at least, not degrade those others. When winning is the sole and overriding goal, it can lead to harmful behavior. Continue reading “Winning in the Time of Trump”